Dealing with Bullying

• Listen and reassure your child that speaking out was the right thing to do. Try and establish the facts. It can be helpful to keep a diary of events to share with your child’s school or college.
• Assure them that bullying is not okay and that they have family that will support them. 
• Reassure them that you will not take any action without discussing it with them first.
• Don't encourage retaliation to bullying - such as violent actions.  Children need to avoid hitting or punching an abusive peer.  Reacting that way has negative and unpredictable results - your child may be subject to further harm and find that they are labelled as the problem.  Instead, suggest that they walk away and seek immediate help from a trusted adult (e.g. class teacher, form tutor, Head of Year, teaching assistant or pastoral support staff).
• Find out what your child wants to happen next.  Ask them if they have already reported it to an adult at school?  If they haven’t, encourage them to do so or support them in doing this. 

• Under the Equality Act 2010, schools must not discriminate. For disabled children, this includes a duty to make reasonable adjustments to policies and practices.  Early intervention to address underlying causes of bullying behaviour should include an assessment of whether appropriate provision is in place to support any SEN and/or disability that a pupil may have. 
• Each school should have an Anti-Bullying Policy which should be available on the school website. If it is not available, contact the school office and ask how you might be able to access this document. The Anti-Bullying Policy will outline the school’s specific approach to preventing and tackling all forms of bullying.
• All schools should seek to provide a safe, secure and positive environment in which children and young people can develop and grow making full use of the range of facilities available to them.
• Children, young people and the adults involved with them are entitled to be treated with respect and understanding and to participate in any activity free from intimidation.
• Should the behaviour of a child with a SEN and/or disability be causing significant harm to others and an Education and Health Care Plan (EHCP) is in place, it would be advisable to initiate an emergency annual review.

• You should report any concerns to your child’s class teacher or form tutor.  If the bullying does not stop and your concerns remain unresolved, arrange a meeting with the Head Teacher (primary) or Head of Year (secondary).  The school may have a Safeguarding lead and Behaviour Lead, it would be advisable to ensure they are also invited to the meeting.
• For more serious incidents (e.g. physical assault), you should report to the headteacher or Head of Year/Senior Leader.  In discussion with the school, you might also consider reporting serious incidents (and incidents that might constitute a criminal offence) to the police.  Essex Police work closely with the Local Authority and Essex schools to prevent harm and resolve situations where harm has been caused.
• Keep a record of all the incidents with dates and times and any steps taken by the school and/or yourself to address the issue
• If your child has an EHCP you can ask to bring forward the Annual Review
• Go to the GP if the bullying is making your child fearful and stressed
• Check the school is following the Anti- bullying and Behaviour policy
• Ask the school for their Complaints Procedure - if you have exhausted all of the above steps and you do not feel that your child’s school has effectively dealt with the bullying, you may wish to submit a complaint.   You can read our information on Raising concerns and making a formal complaint.

• Speak to your child and try to find out how they want the school to deal with the bullying and the support they would like in school.
• You could ask a friend or relative, or contact SENDIASS to ask if anyone can come with you.
• Make sure you have a copy of the school's behaviour policy (and anti-bullying policy if they have one).
• Make notes or bullet points about what you want to say and what you want to the school to do. This will help you to remain focused during the meeting.

You may find our meeting planning and preparation, capturing child views sheets useful to prepare for a school meeting on our Resources page

• If you have someone with you, ask them to take notes as a record of discussions and any agreed next steps. Even if you feel the school should have dealt with things differently, try to focus on making things better now rather than looking back at what the school has or has not done.
• When agreeing a way forward, it's ok to make suggestions to the school about how they can support your child.
• Let the school know what your child would find helpful.
• Try and work with the school to improve things. Some actions may not happen immediately, and you may need more than one meeting to resolve it.
• At the end of the meeting, confirm who will be the main contact at the school and how they will be keep you updated. You may want to agree a date for a future meeting to review things.

The important thing to remember is that anyone is capable of bullying behaviour.

If your child has been accused of bullying others, the school should offer support to your child or, if appropriate, refer to external agencies for support. 

Early intervention can help to set clear expectations of the behaviour that is and isn’t acceptable and help stop negative behaviours escalating.

Read more from the Anti-bullying Alliance